Get down off the Hook!

My article today is about sticking with things and seeing them through to the end, even if it seems like a never ending slog!

I’m speaking today about my career as a counsellor of young adults but also about following my lifelong dream of becoming a writer.

Book cover

When I decided that I wanted to become a Counsellor, I very naively thought I could attend a course for a year and go off and do the job. For some people this works (or at least they think it does) but for anyone who is devoted to the World of counselling others, we know that it takes time, patience and lots of self-introspection. I would also add that, I am still learning every day after 12 years.

My first book“Inside the Teenage Mind” was borne from my constant surprise and awe when listening to young adults tell their stories.

“You should write a book!”

“People would pay to read that!”

Eventually, I plucked up the courage and did it!

I tried for a while to make the traditional publishing route but received “no” after “no”. In the end, I decided to have a go at self publishing via Amazon.

But here’s the thing. My biggest dread was around marketing both myself and the book. I was sure that people would think me stupid and annoying plugging my book all the time.

I had tried just about everything with little success until I came across a great lady called Lauren Sapala. Lauren, like me is an INFJ and she seems to talk to my inner mind!

When she gives advice in her great books and on her website, I feel like I’m listening to myself when I talk to my clients!

The first thing I do is let them off the hook. So what if that failed? So what if they don’t like you? I find that letting people off the hooks they make for themselves give them space to breathe and think! With amazing consequences.

And do you know what? I’m actually starting to enjoy becoming an author-preneur!

Let’s hope it works for me too! Why not check out my book on Amazon and let me know what you think!

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. To find out more about Sarah, please see below.

If you like what you see here, please hit the “follow” button, leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

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Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

Let them Try – Can Young Adults Change the World?

Last week was a very challenging one in my day job. One of my lovely Schools had to deal with a very tragic event which rocked the school and its students.

The school was exemplary in its handling of the situation and had already accessed all relevant crisis support teams to help students out.

As school counsellor, naturally, my time had been earmarked to speak to those students most directly affected. This is where my story gets interesting…

man standing in the middle of road

Photo by Myicahel Tamburini on Pexels.com

Yes, of course these young people were sad…and angry…and confused

But, once again, I was reminded of the natural strength that many of the young adults of today possess and I was humbled by the love and support they showed to each other.

All too often, we are told that our young adults are a waste of time, they’ll never amount to anything, they have no resilience, they don’t know how to deal with life. When they campaign for a better World, we tell them they have no idea what they are talking about.

Bollocks I say! Who knows how to deal with anything until it happens?

I’m re-watching Downton Abbey at the moment (pure indulgence) and I see the same comments being made about the young 100 years ago! The young who went on to be game changers in terms of Votes for Women, Better Education for all, and who had to survive the Second World War.

So I say this… Give our young adults a chance to show us what they can do and what they can cope with … I know we’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. To find our more about Sarah, please see below.

If you like what you see here, please hit the “follow” button, leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

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Book cover

 

Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

A Flower by any other colour…

In these crazy times, as we spare a moment to remember those who gave their lives for our Country amid a General Election Campaign; we are surrounded by yet more controversy.

nature red art blue

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This time it’s the beautiful and delicate yet highly emotionally charged poppy.

Outrage and strong opinions ensued last week when a Rainbow poppy was touted on social media as the LGBT+ version of the traditional red poppy, supposedly to honour LGBT+ soldiers. This has since been disputed both by the British Legion and the LGBT+ community. Click on the image below for more info…

poppy

I want to touch on another view however.

I was encouraged and uplifted once again by the emotional maturity of the young adults I work with when this rumour began to fly around schools.

This generation are far more accepting than any other of any difference from human to human. They often refresh our minds by being so accepting that it barely gets a mention if another student is gay or bi-sexual, gender curious etc. It’s just the way it is.

I shouldn’t really have been surprised then that there was outrage and anger amongst my students around the rainbow poppy. here are some of the comments.

“We are all human beings no matter what, and whoever died in the war still died”

“Why do the LGBT+ community want to be different? I thought they wanted to be accepted?”

“Why is there a separate poppy? We’re all in this together”

We are all in this together, whatever this may be.

I suggest the politicians take a break from tearing chunks out of each other and take a moment to listen to the younger generation who, at the moment, seem to be showing us what the United Kingdom should really look like.

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. To find our more about Sarah, please see below.

If you like what you see here, please hit the “follow” button, leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

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Book cover

An Introvert’s Hell

Last weekend I was involved in Introvert Hell!

close up creepy dark darkness

Photo by Toni Cuenca on Pexels.com

My Son’s girlfriend, Chloe; who I love dearly, was 21. Of course, I live in a family of Extroverts and I had known for some time that the festivities would be very extroverted in nature.

Chloe, like many people, has a split family and so there were various events to navigate. The first, a smaller affair, a Sunday lunch in a local restaurant, was enjoyable.

I was flanked by my Son and Husband who, although both extroverts, both know how to help me cope. My Son dutifully engages me in low key, but interesting conversation and we enjoy guessing the personality types of the other guests. A good majority of the guests at this event seemed a little more towards introverted and so all went well.

The second meal was a little busier, but members of our family had also been invited. It was a lovely event and Chloe opened her presents at the table which provided a welcome break from chit chat. I managed that one too!

Now, for the third and scariest event… Cue scary scream!!!

woman in black long sleeve dress screaming

Photo by Rene Asmussen on Pexels.com

The cocktail-drinking day out!

With karaoke!

Now all of you introverts may need to sit down for this one!

I need to explain first, that because I am an INFJ, I love people and I am often mis-interpreted by others as an extrovert. My best friend, Dawn still doesn’t believe me, but luckily, she just loves me for being me, whoever I am. And I love her for that.

I am not afraid to stand and deliver a speech in front of others.

I am not afraid to take the microphone and sing a karaoke song.

I am not afraid to join in a conversation.

But…

I hate noisy crowds.

I hate not knowing where I’m going or what time I will be home.

I hate standing around talking about, well, nothing.

Cue confusion and dismay from everyone else.

Cue my husband’s kiss of death comment – guaranteed to cause a row… “Just relax and try and enjoy yourself, you’ll get into it” I think I should get away with murder in a court of law following that comment!

To cope, I had to mentally split the day into hourly slots, making sure I was armed with train timetables for getting home. I also laid off the cocktails so I could drive home – escape guaranteed. I even indulged in photos! See uncomfortable photo below!

Angel Pic

I found a table to sit in every bar we visited, often alone while others stood at the bar chatting. I was comfortable in my static position, able to see coming and going and not stuck in the middle of a crowd. Thank god for phones so I didn’t look too out of place with my face in mine.

Then came the karaoke…place? I don’t know how else to describe a corridor of padded cells with excruciatingly loud music and even louder distorted microphones. In another dimension surely this would be a method of torture?

Another screaming rendition of Roy Orbison’s Pretty Woman anyone?

Luckily, I knew we only had a 2 hour slot so, again, I methodically split the time down and spent most of it hiding in the toilet or pretending to do something really important on my phone outside the padded cell.

I know most people reading this will be thinking “what is her problem?” or “how ungrateful” and that is because it is very difficult to explain to extroverts what a day like this is like for an introvert who is out of the introvert closet. I say this because there were a few other introverts in our party who were exhausting themselves by playing the extrovert game.

People often take it personally if I say no or duck out of an event early and this leaves me racked with guilt. “But you’d do it for me surely?” I try hard to be true to myself and my friends and family are gradually coming around, but it is still really difficult.

I will continue the struggle with the demon inside which is not my introversion but the guilt I feel for expressing it with others.

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. To find our more about Sarah, please see below.

If you like what you see here, please hit the “follow” button, leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

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Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

Book cover

52 – 48% Do the Pumpkins have it?

Double Double Toil and Trouble; Fire burn and Cauldron Bubble

William Shakespeare

What does Halloween conjure up for you?

photo of person carrying pumpkin

Photo by Anna Urlapova on Pexels.com

For me? A happy memory of my Son and his friends dressing up and knocking on neighbours’ doors as we parents held a dutiful distance and drank wine from plastic cups.

For some, a blasphemous time where Evil lurks and danger is threatened to all mankind.

Is Halloween just another over-done, plastic, sticky waste of time or is it another day which encourages us to come together in some way?

At work this week, one of my young adults was distraught that her mother would not allow her to attend a trick or treat party at her friend’s house. I asked her why her mother had said no. She told me that her mother believed that Halloween was a form of worshipping the Devil. Having had a nasty experience herself with a Ouija board, this mum was taking no chances.

“And what does Halloween mean to you?” I asked her

“A chance to dress up in funny outfits and get free sweets” She chimed

I’m sure if we asked everyone, we would get something like a 48% vs. 52%

And should we banish Halloween or Stay with it?

Or are there more important things to worry about? …

Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

Book picture

If you like what you see here, please hit the “follow” button, leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

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TRAGEDY!!